TRIM YOUR HEMS

Hello,
so every time I say that I will regularly blog, it is a lie, so never depend on me. Maybe if I promise to be irregular and undependable, I will sub-conciously want to prove myself wrong and write something every day, but probably not. Anyway, I have a heap of things that I have made over this break that I need to post on here, so I will try.
This post is about lace trimmed shorts. I had this janky pair of black linen shorts that I think I probably stole from my sister that were missing a button and I rediscovered them in perfect conjunction with buying copious amounts of lace ribbon trimming stuff from Joanne's. So basically, this DIY is very simple: Get a pair of shorts that are boring and then buy some lace. Turn the shorts inside out, pin the lace along the inside hem, and then sew it on. EASY EASY easy.

Put pins in this way, if you are using a sewing machine, so you can just sew right over them . 

 

This is how I started pinning the lace trim onto the shorts. I think it's easier if you start at the crotch area and work outward. Just make sure you keep the same amount of trim inside (that you pin and sew) all the way around, so it's even. Some people measure it, but I think you can eyeball it okay.

So that is that! So easy. I will post pictures soon!

Public Blogging and Pearl Collars

Hello people of the internet!
This is going to be the blog post where I make this baby public. So far the blog is very advanced with 2 whole previous posts that no one saw but me. Essentially, I just like to make things, especially if those things don't require lots and lots of sewing skills and following a pattern, or re-threading a sewing machine because I don't know how to do those very well. Which is good because that means you can probably do it too and you obviously should.
I have a pile of projects that I've done over the last couple of weeks and I am going to try to post one a day until I go back to school and I am sucked into a no-fun-black-hole-vortex of science. I have no pictures of me actually wearing anything I've made because Jamie isn't home and I always make her take awkward photos of me posing woodenly and I refuse to document them by doing camera in mirror pictures. no no no.
So here is something: Sew pearls copiously and excessively on the collar of your denim shirts.
They will look something like this when you are done:

It's really super easy and incredibly mindless. All you have to do is get 3 different sizes of pearls from Michael's or Joanne's or something, then get a needle and thread and start sewing them on in no particular pattern. Just vary the size you use and cover the entire collar. This is excellent to do while you are digesting holiday meals, watching Homeland with your roommate, or listening to books on CD - all 3 of which have become my recent favorite things.

P.S - I am reading this book:

And this book:

And they are BOTH SO GOOD. READ THEM. 

Plexiglass Cuffs aka Mannequin Arm

2 posts in one day! To an imaginary audience because no one knows about this blog yet, haHA! But anyway, I just wanted to do one tutorial real quick before I start listening to my lectures on the Digestive System and Urinary System! Woohoo! Nephrons, livers, bile ducts, oh my! I did this a while back because I saw it on this other blog that I don't remember the name of but I will post it once I find it again. It's this amazing woman from Sweden, or Norway, or New York, or SOMETHING. Anyway, she is very etherial and has lavender hair and a super hot boyfriend and she does really amazing avant-garde DIY that is very strange and opposite of what lots of people like but she makes you, somehow. She is the kind of person who would be like, "Ok, so here is how you make a latex jumpsuit" and then you would say, "gross", and then she would post pictures of herself in her beautiful latex jumpsuit and you would be like, "oh my god, please let me have a latex jumpsuit of my very own". So I am obviously obsessed with her and she made this plexiglass stuff and I did too. Except she did necklaces and I didn't like those. But I LOVE arm cuffs in all forms, including this. And it's all extra good because you can see your arm INSIDE the cuff, so that's sexy right, because forearms are the new clavicle. 

This is the end product of my efforts to tempt you into trying it yourself. I promise it's like the easiest thing ever and super cheap especially if you convince the Ace Hardware guys to give you plexiglass scraps for free (use your womanly wiles - they don't see many ladies in there). 

Ok, so you need the following things:

-Plexiglass (just ask the guys at the Hardware store, tell them that you are using it to mold for jewelry purposes and they will be like, oh yeah, that stuff does do that, ok let me show you where it is, and then ask them if they have any scraps, and they probably will, and if not, its super cheap so THERE)

-Box-Cutter

-Ruler

-Permanent Marker

-Oven Mitts

So go to the hardware store and get your Plexiglass. Get some pieces of it that are bigger than 15 cm. wide and 20 cm. long. I did 13x17 cm pieces and they were a little small so I would go bigger. You can always experiment by wrapping a piece of paper or fabric around your arm and measuring. That is smart. Next time I will do that. I was just too gung-ho about this whole thing and got carried away.

You don't need a saw to cut Plexiglass, which is SO great. You just have to measure out your chunk of the stuff, I would say go for about 15 cm. wide and 17-20cm long depending on the circumference and length of your forearm. Don't make it too long, you won't be able to move and then you really be a mannequin. Measure it with a ruler and make straight lines marking it out with a permanent marker.

Now keep your ruler on there and score the line a bunch of times with your box-cutter. Please be careful and don't stab yourself. If you have a straight edge that sticks on the top of your glass and stays there better, that is great. If not, be safe. Score that line till you have a little valley of all the times you have scored it and your arm feels a little tired because you are working hard - probably 10-15 times up and down. Now take it to a flat surface with a straight edge and line up the edge with the line you scored. Now LEANNNNNNNN down on that piece of plexiglass that is sticking off the side until it SNAPS. It will be scary at first and it will make a big noise but don't fear, it's normal and you are almost finished.

Now score all your other lines and pop them off until you have your measured rectangle. 

In the end, I ended up having this exciting pile:

NOW, heat your oven to 450 degrees. Wait till it's pre-heated, you want it to be really hot. You then place your pieces on a cookie sheet, don't worry about any of it melting on to it, it won't happen. 

Now put your pieces in the oven for 5 minutes, seriously just 5 minutes.

Now eat something in your kitchen or something, pet your dog, I don't know, just stay around the oven and put on some oven mitts. Now take your pieces out and they will be all pliable and SO not plexiglass like, it's insane. You can do whatever you want to them for about 30 seconds so kind of have an idea of what shape you want before you take them out.

I went with a regular curved shape in the middle but pushed the ends kind of in and up to give it a more interesting structure. Also, try to make it a little bit bigger where your arm would get bigger as well. Unless you have beautiful, uniform-thickness forearms, in which case, WAH. I would suggest doing ONE at a time because you won't really have time to shape both. By the end of the 30 seconds, the glass will be pretty much set in whatever shape you made. You can put it back in for a little bit more to get it pliable again, but if you do it too much, it will crack and you have to start from square one. They usually get cool little bubbles in them too, which adds character and makes them even better, in my opinion. Here is what mine looked like when I was finished:

Mine was a tiny bit too small, so I'm going to make them again with bigger dimensions, but overall they were a massive success. I would suggest as a last step to sand down the edges because they are sharp and I gave myself a massive butt scrap when I was pulling my pants up, which was hard to explain. 

Here is another picture of the finished product:  

The possibilities for this stuff are seriously limitless! I love the cuffs because they can be great worn on skin, but I've worn them on top of sweaters and long sleeves too and are great that way too. I am thinking of trying to stick things into the Plexiglass when it's hot and then shape it that way too - coins, knickknacks, feathers, whatever. They took me literally 30 minutes from start to finish and I think I spent $2 on the Plexiglass. So THERE. 

Love you all! Mannequin Arms Unite!

Poor and Dirty DIY Welcomes YOU!

Hello People of the Internet!
I have decided to create a blog because obviously everyone on the planet needs, wants, and desperately desires to hear what I have to say about sewing disgusting rhinestones on thrifted sweaters, as well as every possible use I can think of for fringe trimming because I think it's amazing and should be on everything. Plus I basically need a venue to make lists of things I want to make, things I need to thrift, and many other lists. Because I love lists. Plus I wanted a blog to post pictures of pretty people in Columbus because I was doing it for a job for a while and they wouldn't let me take pictures of pretty pregnant ladies because it wasn't the "brand" which I understand on one hand, but on the other hand, No.
I also want to explain the name of the blog because I talked with so many people about it and I was like, "Oh my god, friends, please tell me if this name is offensive, will people think that I am calling impoverished people dirty?" and I was assured by many, that no I was not. But I just want to clarify that I entitled this "Poor and Dirty DIY" because I am, in fact, pretty poor and fairly dirty. Ask my friends - I have problems remembering to shower on a regular basis especially because my house is really cold and the consequences of being greasy for one more day outweigh the pain of stepping out of the shower into an icy bathroom. The name is basically a response to all of my beloved and beautiful favorite DIY blogs - all of them are so gorgeous and well-groomed and have these amazing, well-lit tables with artfully arranged lemon slices and one home-made, organic, local muffin glowing in it's own self-satisfaction because it is perfect and socially-concious. I love these blogs, even though every time I read one of their posts about how they had some spare Swarovski crystals on hand that they just made into a beautiful necklace inspired by the latest Lanvin collection or how they just happened to decide to paint the bottom of their brand-new leather Coach cross-body bag, I die a little bit inside. Not feasible. Sorry, but as much as many of us love to look at pictures of piles of freshly-cooked Nutella-sea-salt-milk-chocolate-brown butter-cookies or phenomenal manicures that took probably 5 hours, $20, and a lot of photo-shop, it's not possible for even the best of us. But I love to do shit like this! It's so so fun and doing fun things should be for all of us, not just the ones who have money and take showers every other day.
So this is a documentation of how someone who checks her checking account on a bi-daily basis and has a canister of "Prickly-Heat Mentholated Talcum Powder" that I sprinkle on my hair line on really dirty days decides to do fun projects that don't take very much money. Also, this is from Columbus,   Ohio whose options for supplies for these types of things are limited. When DIY sites say, just go to this beautiful, amazing, expansive fabric warehouse in the fashion district of L.A and sift through the remnant pile, I get MAD because Joanne's Fabrics is pretty much my only option and let's face it, it's become something of a wasteland of piles of flannel for those hideous knotted blankets that everyone seems obsessed with making. Sorry people who like them - they are soft, I understand why you make them (kind of?), but please let them become un-popular, PLEASEEEEEEE.
Anyway, I hope you like some of the stuff I hope to post - hopefully I have better luck actually posting on this thing. I have a lot of stuff backlogged that I plan on putting up pretty quickly that I've done in the last couple of weeks that involve large amounts of pearls, little baby white pompoms, tofurkey turtles, and plexiglass jewelry that I personally think is awesome but lots of people keep saying, omg, your arm looks like a mannequin! which I guess is kind of true, but whatever I think it looks cool.
I can't promise stuff won't look janky but that is sort of the point of having a fashion blog entitled Poor and Dirty.
LOVE YOU ALL,
Megan